We Broke Up Because:
We broke up because you deserve someone who knows what they want and, incidentally, so do I.
Someone who knows what they want is like someone who knows how to tame a tiger. It’s much more interesting it they’re wrong.
We broke up because i refused to call him daddy. He said all his previous girlfriends called him that and it was considered a norm. Unfortunately, i don’t think calling a man daddy is normal!
I live with someone who calls me “Daddy.” I wouldn’t go so far as to say he was “normal,” but his second-grade teacher finds him meeting expectations.
You were reading a book on making long distance relationships work. I was reading Why We Broke Up. The rest is self-explanatory.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
We hooked up. I stayed hooked. You kept fishing.
The more you fish, the more worms in your life.
We broke up because it became more about lust than love. And he thought it was acceptable to flirt with other women because he always came back to me in the end. What a pillock.
I had to look up the term “pillock,” and learned it comes from the Scandinavian, meaning “penis.” I offer this because it may be of interest.
We broke up because of the Internet porn. Also, our age difference. But mostly the porn.
A difference in age is like pornography: Some people look past it. Some people look at it.
My boyfriend used to write me weird cryptic German love notes. I used to tell him: “I don’t know German. I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.” And he’d say: “You don’t need to know German, you just need to know Love.” I thought that sentiment was maudlin and impractical, so we broke up.
Eine Trennung ist wie das Lesen Deutsch: viele schwierigeSilben füllen dein Gehirn und Mund.
I’m a straight-A student, never done drugs, I have an amazing sense of humor, we have a lot in common, we are the same age, and she helped me find Jesus. Her parents still managed to convince her that she could do better. The person she’s with now has a D+ average, has a history of violence, drug use is questionable, and is a few years older … but “he’s a total sweetheart.”
As they said to Jesus, your day will come.
we haven’t even started dating, and I feel you want to break up already
I’m sorry you had to find out like this. But in my defense, we haven’t even met.
we broke up because being in a relationship made us complacent and stupid.
I’ve encountered so many couples I’d call “Complacent and Stupid.” I always try to sit next to Complacent.
he made me read his manuscripts.
Honey, is that you?
I realized that we were breaking up when I saw Her wearing His oversized watch. That was my cute little thing, and it really bothered me. Then I looked closer and realized that she was pregnant, and it was all over.
Please read packaging more carefully. Watches are not what one wears to prevent pregnancy.
He reappeared after completely disappearing for weeks and not only used the ultra-religious group he’d just joined as a justification for repeatedly cheating on me, but he was wearing a really ugly jacket. At the time I was basically desperate enough to overlook everything, so it was the ugly jacket that got through to me.
Give him a break. The Pope is required to wear that outfit.
Rattlesnakes kept coming through the yard. One curled up on the doormat. PS the terms and conditions document is really creepy.
Any lover who makes you sign a terms and conditions agreement is most certainly a snake.