I ought to have known it wasn’t meant to be when you favored House Greyjoy. Seriously?
We Broke Up Because:
you threw out my Taylor Swift CD’s.
You didn’t know it was baseball season when I checked in at the ballpark.
You’re 26 and you honestly thought rice was just little, cut up pasta.
We broke up because when we were listening to my favorite band in the car, you said you never heard of them, even though I made you a mix cd with all of their greatest songs on it months earlier.
You were not a registered voter, and yet you still had the audacity to complain about politicians and the government.
You sweated too much when we cuddled.
He considered it a compliment to be what my friends “always imagined Holden Caulfield to look like.”
We broke up because you kissed like a starving praying mantis.
We broke up because you thought my reaction to the White Stripes breaking up was too apathetic.
remember when you farted when we were lying in the grass looking for shooting stars? that was the second i realized you were not the one for me
We broke up because she liked Briony when we watched Atonement. And Briony, she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.
Because you wore a Kenzo giant logo sweater like every other attention seeking woman on Jak & Jil.
She didn’t understand the ending of Mrs. Dalloway.
I knew it wasn’t going to last when we tried to reach 100 consecutive catches with a frisbee and you dropped it on what would have been number 100.