He had a Bachelor Degree on Effortless. That’s why we broke up.
We broke up because you willingly lived in Staten Island.
You had no idea who Carly Simon or James Taylor was.
We broke up so I could write on this blog.
and peanut butter and for our anniversary you bought me a radiator cover.
I ought to have known it wasn’t meant to be when you favored House Greyjoy. Seriously?
you threw out my Taylor Swift CD’s.
You didn’t know it was baseball season when I checked in at the ballpark.
You’re 26 and you honestly thought rice was just little, cut up pasta.
We broke up because when we were listening to my favorite band in the car, you said you never heard of them, even though I made you a mix cd with all of their greatest songs on it months earlier.
You were not a registered voter, and yet you still had the audacity to complain about politicians and the government.
You sweated too much when we cuddled.
He considered it a compliment to be what my friends “always imagined Holden Caulfield to look like.”
We broke up because you kissed like a starving praying mantis.
We broke up because you thought my reaction to the White Stripes breaking up was too apathetic.